I'm ACTUALLY famous on the internet. (bhutto)

[Tonay]

On faceboook, I am Bilawal 'the man' Bhutto!

I made an account pretending to be him. I've got 44 friend requests in the hour it's been up. Reckon I'll be upto 1000 in a couple days.

It's great cos I saw the news on tv, and since this is basically the first time the guy has come into the public eye, nobody has made an account for him. So I quickly registered one, and just been addin stuff to the profile.

I've recieved loads of letters of condolences for my dead mother too! I'll post up some good ones now. Oh and a ridiculous number of hot pakistani girls added me too (some pics below), so you know what's gonna happen, right? TITS. Lots of tits.

Many condolences on the passing away of Ms. Benazir Bhutto. May Allah (SWT) grant her jannah. Your speech as the new chairman of PPP was very eloquent...and please know that your mother was a great politician and human being. She will be greatly missed. Please continue to follow her footsteps..and contine the wonderful job she did inorder to keep her memory alive! Pakistan needs more leaders like her, who stand for equality and true democracy! And you should definately try and make her dream come true. We will always support you.

All the best!

-Zaheer

I ADMIRED your mum to bits! smart , opinionated and strong willed and a beautiful woman!

my condolences to your family and all the very best!

Despite being a complete stranger, writing as a Pakistani living in Sweden, I'd first like to condole. Your mother was a very brave women who always stood up for her country and her people. May she rest in peace and may Allah grant her jannat, amin.

I just wanted to say, being born in 1988 myself, that you're a very brave man who's taken on the responsibility of becoming the official chair person of the PPP. Your speech during the press conference made it even clearer that it is you and your sister who will suffer most from the horrible event, my thoughts are with you all. May Allah help and guide you in the days that will come and I hope that you and not least the PPP will make us all proud. Please do make sure that the memory, legacy and political vision of Mohtarma is never forgotten.

Lol. Gimme some ideas for what I should do! I'll change my religious views from 'muslim' to 'christian' soon. And join the group called 'Benazir Bhuto is sexy'. Couple of islamic extremists poked me too, scary


its at 51 now

[Tonay]

heres the news story btw

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7164968.stm

[Tonay]

hey there.

we may not know each other but i, alongside with hundred of thousands of people, am sorry to hear about the sad demise of ur mom. i know i cannot even begin to imagine the pain that ur family and u must be going through.its a difficult period but a period for u to be the brave one.its a period for u to rise above all.stay strong.

Ur mom was a fighter and she fought for all the right things in life. This is now ur responsibility and i hope u will give the people of Pakistan what they need.Bring in ur fresh ideas but safeguard the sacrosanct values.Always fight to remove the evils of society.

Good luck and all the best in this new journey.

Kind regards,

Shai

PS- I believe I know and have met ur cousin Akbar.

I'm gonna reply with "Akbar? He was a right fucking twat."

[Z_E_R_O]

Originally Posted by Tonay

Couple of islamic extremists poked me too, scary

That does sound scary. They don't use condoms, you know.

[SAiNT-X]

Tonay you are a genius.

[VampMan]

setup a paypal donation thing and get rich

[Tonay]

I don't doubt that there's people who would donate, and I am kinda in debt at the moment, but I'm not gonna swoop THAT low.

(aka its probably fraud or summink isnt it? id need a lawyer to write out the 'purposes' of the donation. mersualters head!! or to a lesser extent, ramz)

about 310 friend requests now

and exactly 150 messages


I need to write a single response which I can send back to all the letters of condolence. Something sad, poignant, and then becoming weird and disturbing.

[Tonay]

Had a CNN journalist and a couple of website owners email me but not for an interview, but now this has come along:

Hello,
I'm the editor of the National Public Radio news show "Day to Day" here in the U-S - we'd love to have a quick, 5-minute phone conversation with you about your new role in Pakistan. Please email me at ******@npr.org.

Thanks
***********
Supervising Senior Editor, "Day to Day," National Public Radio

Who thinks they can pull it off? I can't do it myself because I'm in England.

Sonki, think you can pull it off? Or any of the rest of you, can you do a good british/pakistani accent?

I don't think it's gonna be live, unfortunately, but it'll probably be aired later on. So whatever you have to say about democracy and islamic extremism can get a national audience!

[Tonay]

Hello

You don't know me of course. But I'm a great supporter of your great mother, and I serve as Special Officer to the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia.
Hopefully our acquaintance may foster a good working relationship for the future.

Three of my friends are going to study in Malaysia for a semester from January, I might get this dude to get them an invitation into malaysias white house so they can use the presidents oval office as a toilet or something.

[Tonay]

WOW, someone who works in the tv industry (I listed my fave tv shows as The WestWing, Simps, XF, Curb, awfultruth n bufffy) sent me this:

Hey, there!

My name is Betsy and I just want to tell you how much I have been thinking of you and your family during this time.

I know my words are just words. And that there are many of us who have extended their sympathies. Truth is? I don't really know what to write. I lost my father when I was 17 so loss is something I am familiar with. Which means I am also familiar with living a legacy for a parent. There are certain things I do because of my father's teachings. And there are certain things I DON'T do because of his teachings. If that makes any sense at all? Both have lead me to where I am now and where I plan on going. And I hope to someday raise a child who will understand his/her late grandfather in the same way I do.

This letter is not about me. It's about you. You must know the world is watching but that because of your family, we believe in humanity with leadership. Both go hand and hand. I am not certain my elected officials understand that completely, but most of us who live here, DO. You family helped many of us understand your homeland and rejuvanated our belief in humanity and leadership. So, thank you. We are with you...

I live in Brooklyn and work on films and television programs here. It's a "glamourous" living with long hours and hot temperaments (by others.) But I love what I do and enjoy being on my sets. At the moment there is a writer's strike so I am not working. I may leave for Trinidad in a few days, however, as my union and I are negotiating a deal for a job down there. It's a tricky time. But there is a reason for it all and unlike most of my colleagues, I don't like to be defined by my career. I am proud of it but it's not who I am all of the time.

I noticed some of your favorite programs are programs I have worked on... which was why I mentioned my profession. If there is anything I can do, autographs or something, let me know?

I suppose I wrote the above because I want to sort of occupy your mind with something other than your most recent loss and news of what's ahead. Sometimes film and tv lends a terrific escape and I would love to help keep your mind occupied with something less heavy in your life.

Anyway. I have watched the local Pakastani cricket team in my park here. For many months. I run past them all the time and they are the kindest men I have met in a long time. Cricket is not a popular sport in the states but it ought to be! They actually explained the game to me and sometimes I stop my daily jogs and watch on the sidelines. It's been a blast!

Write to me anytime if you ever need a distraction. I don't know you at all and vice versa for you. But please know this American girl is here to lend her eyes and ears...

Best of luck to you in this New Year.

Warmest regards from a chilly Brooklyn,

The only one of those shows set in New York is The Awful Truth, so maybe she knows Michael Moore. Awesome, I'll see if I can get her to post his tits

[CheeeseHead20]

Hahaha holy shit.

[Tonay]

I've put up a big westwing quote (from the post-9/11 episode) on my page and made it out like it's my own thoughts on extremism.


I've gotten 430ish friend requests so far and 248 messages of condolence. Tomorrow I'm gonna post up a 'new years message' from bilo or whatever his name is saying that theres gonna be some changes when I come into power. ill try and pack in as many buffy references as possible

ive set it so everyone in london can see the profile, hopefully some journalists/bloggers will see it and mention how pakistan's potential new leader loves larry d

[Exodus]

This is fucking hilarious!

[speKtor]

I gotta say, this pretty much makes up for all the other shitty things about tonay. lol.

[CheeeseHead20]

I have to friend you so I can see this profile unfold.

[CarlosRE3]

Originally Posted by Tonay

wow shes smoking hot

[molsonmuscle]

I'm I really the only person who sees this as extremly fucking juvinile. Jesus the woman was on par with many American Civil rights activists. Why do i think many of you wouldn't find it as funny if Facebook was around in MLK's day and some waste of life like Tonay impersonated one of his children.

[speKtor]

Originally Posted by molsonmuscle

I'm I really the only person who sees this as extremly fucking juvinile. Jesus the woman was on par with many American Civil rights activists. Why do i think many of you wouldn't find it as funny if Facebook was around in MLK's day and some waste of life like Tonay impersonated one of his children.

Its not funny because he is impersonating him, its funny because people are actually buying it.


Seriously, since when is facebook a credible source of information/identification? lol.

[molsonmuscle]

True. I'm suprised at some of the letters (if completly true) But still, I think giving people who are in a state of confusion a false sense of hope is pretty sick, and odds are someone will not take to kindly to this and hunt Tonay down when this concludes. And he'll deserve it.

[Tonay]

Originally Posted by molsonmuscle

I think giving people who are in a state of confusion a false sense of hope is pretty sick

A false sense of hope? Hope of, umm, what? That their potential new leader has dialogue written by Aaron Sorkin? We should all be so lucky!

[Resident Lurker]

This is like watching a South Park episode!

[Z_E_R_O]

Originally Posted by Resident Lurker

This is like watching a South Park episode!

Ironic. The shit's on right now.

[Tonay]

Hi Bilawal
I'm James Fontanella an FT journalist. I would love to have an informal chat with you when you are back in Oxford, for a possible interview.

I hope you can get back to me through facebook.

best

James

He left his mobile number at the bottom. Would it actually be 'fraud' or something illegal if I pretended to be the guy and told him I could do a phone interview? Obviously I'm british asian myself so sounding like him isn't a problem.


(FT is the Financial Times by the way, a major british paper)

[Ibe6yoube9]

Originally Posted by CheeeseHead20

I have to friend you so I can see this profile unfold.

You do realize none of the shit he's saying is true, as apparent from the numberous holes and revealing mistakes in the quotes from the "journalist" (and the fact that it's Tonay speaking)?

[MetsAce]

Originally Posted by Z_E_R_O

Ironic. The shit's on right now.

That's not irony... it's coincidental. Sorry... big pet peeve of mine.