View Full Version : how to avoid thanksgiving get togethers

November 23rd, 2000, 03:09 AM
I remember well how badly Thanksgiving used to suck- having to spend the day with lame ass relatives when I coulda been playing video games. As a public service I would like to share some tips on how to behave when your at your relatives house for Thanksgiving dinner to ensure that you are never, ever invited back.
1) flirt with your aunt (be careful, if your aunt is somewhat desperate this could backfire,, bigtime!)
2) show up really drunk 3) sneak into the kitchen and get the Turkey kneck, usualy it will end up in the garbage. Come out of the bathroom with it hanging out of your zipper, act inoccent, and ask "is it cold in here or is it just me?" 4)tell your female cousin or niece who is just starting to "fill out" loudly "SAAAAAY, NICE TITS!" be sure to do this in front of her parents.5) tell your teenage nephew, "yup, I used to f#ck little boys like you in prison!" 6)at the dinner table when the turkey is being carved, loudly tell the oldest person there about a cool german porn film you once saw, where a "dude puts it to a turkey" be as graphic as possible.7) when the mashed potatoes get passed your way, refuse to use the serving spoon, use your hand, exclaiming "serving spoons are for pussies!"8) and the coupe de grace, clog the toilet. Don`t simply throw a handfull of toilet paper in there, you need to "clog it like a bastard" unravel the entire roll into the toilet, use two rolls if possible- now, take a dump on top of the whole deal. hopefully someone stupid will try and flush it, causing a flood, and making the turd, "jump the rim" the poor bastard who has to clean that will probably be traumatized for quite some time! If this helps just one person, then it was worth my time. Were gonna spend Thanksgiving at home tomorow, relative free! WooHoo! Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

November 23rd, 2000, 03:15 AM
If its gonna be this kinda party im gonna stick my pecker in the mashed patatoes.

November 23rd, 2000, 03:53 AM
Dude! I think I just split my side! I haven't laughed like that on the internet in a long time! Good stuff Mike!

November 23rd, 2000, 05:55 AM
all my family lives in georgia so i guess i'll just have to get laid, drink some beer, get laid, watch a few football games, get laid,drink more beer, go to my faincee's parents, eat turkey, go home and then get laid.

i hope you guys have fun ****ting in the gravy:)HAPPY T-DAY!!!!!!!!!

November 22nd, 2006, 10:02 PM
I was to lazy to make a new Thanksgiving thread, so I bumped this 6 year old dinosaur up from the basement!

November 22nd, 2006, 10:27 PM
Nice, man!

November 22nd, 2006, 10:32 PM
LMAO. How the hell did you come up with this stuff?

November 23rd, 2006, 12:45 AM
I dug it up in chit-chat. I think back when I first started posting I started in chit-chat, and soon discovered off topic was where my heart was.

Much thanks to Overkill for carting this ancient thread over here for me!

November 23rd, 2006, 08:57 AM
Those tips always get a big thumbs up!

November 24th, 2006, 08:38 AM
happy thanksgiving! im leaving work early to celebrate! haha no, but i am leaving early :D

December 1st, 2006, 12:44 PM
now i want mashed potatos